Wednesday, May 18, 2011

and here we are.

oh, my little blog. i have missed coming here more than i thought i did. the passed couple of months have been filled with sweet second grade faces, lesson planning, paper grading, house hunting, lease signing, gift registering, graduating, envelope licking, invite sending, and wedding crazy-ness. wheeew. and in between it all i have left very little time for myself to sit, think, or create.

i've realized during this spell of "creative dryness" that i have to have some sort of extrinsic creative activity going on in my life in order to keep myself sane. i've missed coming to this little spot, if only a few times a week, to let myself type all of the little details and thoughts that are collected though out each day.

the wedding countdown is down to 2 days. yes, 2 days. that means we're in the middle of the wedding-tornado. this tornado is filled with ribbon and flowers and lots of final decisions to be made. but in two days, zach and i will be married, i will finally be able to breath, and i can finally get back into taking time to create once again.

i hope you haven't given up on this little corner of the web-o-sphere. i have some ideas that will be coming here soon, including a re-launching of a completely new knotted needle store. i'm excited about all of the little changes that are currently creating this new life of mine!

Monday, January 3, 2011

thank you.

a few months ago i posted about the book cold tangerines by shauna niequist. it's no secret that i love this book. i love the way that shauna is so so real in her writing and how she pours herself into her books. i've told everyone i know to read it, have given it as gifts, and written a quote from nearly every page of the book in my journal. 

shauna also has a book called bittersweet that i have been reading through recently, and let me assure you, it's every bit as good as cold tangerines. the other day while i was reading bittersweet i began thanking God for putting things in our lives at specific and designated times, like that exact book for this exact period of my life. 

the term bittersweet is a bit of an oxymoron that we can use to identify many situations in our lives. i'm currently finding myself in a bittersweet period of life. the sweet side of my life is filled with thoughts of finally receiving my degree and becoming a teacher, being married and beginning a new life with zach, and learning to live in this world as an adult rather than a full-time student. with every sweet situation a bitter one generally is along side of it. for me, the bitter part of my life right now is moving out of my comfort zone that i have known for the passed 4 years. i will have to say goodbye to friends and instead of seeing them everyday, i will only see them every-so-often. i will have to say goodbye to relying fully on my parents for support and will have to learn to adapt to having a job all day where i can't take naps between class. 

last night i began to think about this bittersweet state of life that i am in and i realized that i'm currently right in the middle of the bitter and the sweet part. semi-sweet maybe? tomorrow i will begin student teaching in my hometown with a sweet little class of 2nd graders. this means that i have moved home for the semester, leaving me in a state of limbo between being a college student and an official adult. i'm not a real teacher, only practicing, and i'm not a real wife yet, only engaged and planning for marriage. 

one of the quotes at the beginning of bittersweet states, "bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a sliver of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich when it contains a splinter of sadness."
i love that quote. what a beautiful picture these words paint of the hope that God shows us during even the most bitter of times.  

i can feel God stretching me. stretching my legs and arms, mind and soul, heart and spirit in order to prepare for the next leg of the run that is placed before me. i am so thankful for this "semi-sweet" time in life that is allowing me to reflect on who i am and who i want to be in Him as a wife and future teacher. 

thank you, God, for the bitter times and the sweet times, and even the semi-sweet times. 

"so when life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. and when life is bitter, say thank you and grow."
-bittersweet by shauna niequist
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