it's ok to cry.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about how I want to recap the first month as a mom. Society wants me to post smiling pictures of a sweet baby in his stain-free outfit with a tag line that talks about how in love we are with our new addition and how we can't imagine life before he got here. And while yes, we are in love with our new baby, that's not the true picture of my first month into the vast ocean called motherhood. 

What those Facebook posts don't show is that the first month after having a baby is hard. It's messy and full of tears. It's painful and emotional. It's overwhelming and exhausting. What those perfectly posed pictures don't show are the tired eyes of new parents who aren't sure if they are doing any of this parenting stuff right. Or the nights of rocking and bouncing a newborn that has cried for {what feels like} days straight. 

In the middle of the night during a marathon feeding session, I stumbled onto a blog post titled "70 things I wish someone would have told me about pregnancy" (or something of the sort). This post covered everything from the joy you would feel, to the products you should have bought. But the one that stood out to me the most? "It's ok to cry". 

It's ok to cry. 

It's ok to cry because you didn't know you could love something so much. 

It's ok to cry because you feel overwhelmed and alone in the middle of the night. 

It's ok to cry because you feel so blessed by all of the people who want to come see your new baby. 

It's ok to cry when you feel overwhelmed by people coming to visit and you just want to hide out. 

It's ok to cry because you didn't think you could love the man you married any more until you see him as a dad. 

It's ok to cry because feeding your child is one of the most painful things you have ever done. 

It's ok to cry because feeding your child is one of the most beautiful things you have ever done. 

It's ok to cry because you feel like you might never get to leave your house again. 

It's ok to cry when you feel anxious just at the thought of leaving your house again. 

It's ok. 

I write all of this not to highlight the bad that comes with the first month of having a newborn, but to remind myself of how hard these times are. To remind myself that it's important to hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection. And maybe, if you are a new mom and reading this, you will know that even though this first month feels so long, it will pass. And in the meantime, it's ok to cry.